Hockeysticks

Scott:  DUDE! You woke her up, and you made her break curfew!  You're going to heck!

Ammon:  As long as I don't go to hell, then I'm ok with that.

Scott: :-\

Accidental Greatness!

While practicing an A Cappella song that we recently performed at our Ward Talent Show, Matt Casady derailed off his traditional bass line and went crazy...  Scott looked over, and we thought a rebuke was coming:

Scott Shattuck:  Matt, I have no idea what you were doing.  But keep doing it.  *Zack and I look at each other and burst into giggles*

Welcome, Amanda! On Tswift:

A little preface: Amanda Pearl is Zack's fiancee. And she has some awesome one-liners, as you're about to see.

Ammon: I have a long standing bet of $50 with my little sister that says that I'll take Taylor Swift on a date.

Amanda: I would never want to take her on a date.  Or be her friend for that matter.

Ammon: Why not?

Amanda:  She might write a song about you!

Who would have guessed?

This all took place over text.

Ammon: Are we going up to Idaho this weekend?
Zack: I'm actually not going to the idaho this weekend.  we can go up halloween weekend though!

       You will never guess what I'm doing right now though...

Ammon: Skydiving naked?

Zack: So you're watching the live feed?

Ammon: THAT'S YOU??? OH MY GOSH!!! I was just joking! How did you wrap yourself in all that seran wrap? Those Christmas lights are a nice touch btw.

Zack:  Hahahaha! Holy craps I'm crying!

Introducing... Matt Casady!!!

After walking in on Zack for the umpteenth time...

Matt: "Why do you never have pants on!?!?!"

Sounds fishy...

So, we were at Zack's house in Payson for some awesome dinner and dating advice with his awesome family. They had made breaded tilapia (fish) and fried cod, and had happened to place the two fish delicacies on the same plate. Upon eating of the tilapia, Scott exclaimed,

"Tilapia is next to Codliness!"

They Call Me...

"Scott, we just want to lock you up in a music store for a week. You'd emerge something like a mix between Ben Folds, Metallica, and Beethoven.

We could call you Ben-tallica-hoven"

-Ammon

Bros Before... Actual Prostitutes

Zack-

"All I hear is 'Blah blah blah, I'm copping out on going to Idaho with my friends Zack and Scott'"

Ammon-
"Zack, you realize that the saying 'bros before hoes' only applies when you're dealing with actual prostitutes..."

Zack-
"Touche, Ammon, Touche"

Statistics Jokes

Scott:  I just extrapolated all over the place.

Ammon:  I just extrapolated myself.

Drop of a Pin

Talking about the new MormonMessage video of Jeffrey R. Holland's moving talk on lust...

Ammon: When he gave that, I bet you could hear a pin drop in there... on the carpet.

Scott: I bet you could hear a pin drop... in space.

She WHAT???

Speaking of Zack's impending fiancee:

Scott: So until they're engaged, he wants her to still date other people.

Ammon: Yeah, that's a good idea, so that way she can still get some experience.

Scott: Ya know, that sounds so...

Ammon: Yeah...

Billy the Tech

To a customer at Vivint, where Ammon recently started working:

Ammon: So I've got the appointment confirmed for the 12th.

Customer: What will the technician's name be?

Ammon: We don't actually know what his name will.................

(Scott, who has worked at Vivint much longer and has been watching poor Ammon, points to the scheduled technician's name on the screen)

Ammon: (at customer) ...........it'll probably be Billy.

(Scott dies of laughter wondering if the customer thinks that Ammon just made up the first name that came to his mind)

Dating Theories

Zack: Scott, this girl said she thinks you're "yummy"...

Scott: So, either she thinks I'm really attractive... or she's a cannibal and wants to eat me. Either of the two

Abusing Random Body Parts.

Scott sez: That's like a slap in the thyroid!

Excuse me?

On getting through a very crowded space:

Ammon: Pardon my... everything.

Tater jokes

Earlier today about Ammon offering some baked potatoes to the rest of the apartment:

Zack: I'm sorry Ammon, but I'm way too good for your potatoes.

Welcome!

On behalf of Zackary, Scott, and myself (Ammon), we proudly present, "The Quote Blog of Apt.116"!!!!

All of the greatest jokes and stupid humor reeking from this apartment will be posted here.  So, without further ado, Let the blogging begin!