Elder Deschamps strikes again!

So normally I wouldn't do this, but... I teach Spanish at the Missionary Training Center.  One of them, Elder Deschamps, has put me to tears several times with his zany sense of humor.  This one happened yesterday:

Elder Hall: Hermano Hallsted, do you know how many Hispanics are in Portland?  Like... Negative 3!

Elder Deschamps:  Wait... So what happened to those three Hispanic people?

Touchy Old Puns

Matt W (also known as Dubs) walks into the apartment after a long day of school. Scott notices his haircut from the weekend and comments on it.

Matt, in jest, replies "I didn't get a haircut... I'm balding, ok? Thanks for bringing it up..."

Scott replies: "No problem man. Anytime you need touchy subjects touched upon, I'm your guy."

Ryan, listening from the kitchen, after a good hearty laugh, chimes in: "Oh Scott, you and your puns! I love them and I never get old... of them..."

Gird up thy Loins!!! No, wait, NO!!!

An email conversation while working at Vivint, between Ammon and Scott:

******

Scott: Jk. But yeah, while I was debating on whether I should or not, I kinda just said in my head; “ya know what, if I don’t do this now, when the crap will I ever start.”

So I took your words to heart, drew up my courage, girded up my loins, and left the sticky note of love in The Hobbit.

woot

Ammon:  Alright fine.  But I’m pretty sure she’s not going to read the INSIDE COVER!   I hope she finds it…

Oh, and never gird up your loins while you’re at work.  That’s a disgusting mental image, never, ever do that to me again. 

Seriously, where did that phrase come from?  They’re in a loincloth, and they “GIRD up their loins”???  Ugh, that’s horrible.  Maybe it was a cultural way of showing how manly… I’m not even going to go there.

But seriously, even if they were wearing animal skin pants, how do you gird up your loins?  I’d like to see you try it.  What a weird saying.  Maybe they accidently wrote it in, and it turned into this huge prophet-historian joke for centuries.  That would make the prophets a LOT cooler in my eyes.

Scott: Indeed. It would be something akin to saying nowadays “And behold, they hiked up their underpants… and went and preached unto the congregations”

Yep

Ammon:  Super weird.  Honestly, I wonder if the first guy who wrote it forgot to wear a belt to his preaching corner.  He’s writing his account in the plates, late one night… his mind starts to wander as he accidently engraves the phrase… and now he had to lie to his generations and the rest of the Christian world about how that statement is metaphorical.  What a shame.

  This whole conversation is going on the quote blog tonight.  J

Social Media for the Other Side

From Reagan, during Sunday School from a call to go to Indexing class:

"Indexing is awesome!  It's like Facebooking for the dead!"

Church Choir

Scott was recently called as the Church Choir Director, and I as the Choir President.  Which means that he tries to keep a handle on me and Ryan cracking constant jokes in the back row.  To ease the tension (if not, then you'll have to ask Ryan, it's inexplicable), Ryan started... grabbing/caressing one of the soprano's heads.

Scott: Ryan!  Will please stop touching the sopranos!?

*Ryan and I exchange immature smirks*

Scott: (talking to someone else) All right let's get back to that...

Ammon: Yes Ryan, please get back to touching the sopranos.

Learning Disorders

Upon finding themselves in the midst of a deep philosophical conversation regarding modern learning styles and the efficiency of tests...

Ryan (while doing his computer programming homework): I should program something that will do my math homework for me. I can program it onto a calculator to take into the testing center, and they won't suspect it at all.
Scott: Well in today's life, the real test is of one's ingenuity, and not what he just memorized.
Ryan: I'm not a fan of bulimic learning.
Scott: Aah, regurgitative learning. Hm, I'm against both bulimic learning and bulimia...
Ryan: Well, it's better than anorexic learning.
Scott: Haha yep. "I'm just not going to learn this. Nope, not gonna take it in."

Frog frog frog frog frog frog frog frog.....

Israel meet the 8th Wonder of the World.

Introducing our good friend of the Apartment, Sheena!  I can't think of a better way to introduce her than with her commentary tonight:

Sheena: Wait, I really never told you guys about skinny dipping in the Danube River? (True story, btw)

Ammon:  You went skinny dipping in the famous river that's in children's books and has had classical music written after it??? I can't believe you did that!

Scott:  Yeah, that's like going streaking in the Holy Land!